The reason why most people still remain on the same spot in their life is because they have refused to lay to rest and keep dead their past and embrace their present so that they can birth a better future for themselves. They keep lingering on negative experiences and past failures;
they keep holding on to how they embarked on a life changing plan and how it got flopped, they keep lingering on failed relationships that they have invested so much time and energy on that happened not to work out, they keep lingering on the examination they read so much for and still failed, they keep brooding over how they tried their best at work and still got fired, they keep holding on to memories of failed friendships and acquaintances, they keep holding on to experiences they were actually unable to enjoy due to their actions or inactions, they keep these thoughts in their mind and they keep blaming themselves continuously and repeatedly every single day to the extent of not even having the energy to look forward to mapping out a plan B. They keep brooding over these negative experiences that they actually forget the diverse opportunities lying ahead of them.
Hey honey, I know that it is actually not too easy for you. I definitely know what you are going through but I cannot feel your deepest sorrows and fear but believe me when I say failure is part of life, failure makes one stronger. Our bright future is woven out of heartbreaking past experiences but one major thing you need to learn is that you just need to embrace your present state, you need to focus and make do of what is in your current state of reality and give up dwelling on your negative thoughts about your past experiences. There is a major reason why earlier experiences are tagged “past” and that is because they are part of a person’s history that has gone by in time and no longer in existence. So why would you keep lingering on such experiences that have gone by in time? Why would you keep holding on to histories that are no longer in existence? You need to get up and take charge of what stays in your memory and the impact it has on you.
Furthermore, it is high time you learnt that a major characteristic of life is that-it goes on! No matter the situation you find yourself, no matter the struggles you have battled with, always keep in mind that life goes on. Do not allow past mistakes outweigh you or weigh you down; do not allow your past affect the happiness you are meant to be enjoying in your present state. You just need to keep moving; you need to keep going and never look back nor cling on to failed experiences. That is how to live my dear! Life awaits no man and so therefore, there is a compulsory need to move on and lay to rest the past; what has gone has gone. See my dear, I want you to know that if you do not move on, life itself will go on and you would be the only one left battling with your setbacks.
Do not allow the mistakes of yesterday affect the hustle for a bright future. Sweetheart, there is a need to keep the past in the past, shred any affiliations with the past and focus on the woman or man that you are becoming. So many people still keep up with the mistakes they have made in the past, they still keep up with the challenges that overtook them; so many still live in fear of what they have done that they forget that there is still a price to be won. They totally forget the need to place their gaze on the target and this in turn have an adverse effect on their mental or psychological state. Mentally or psychologically in the sense that the brooding affects their mental faculties to the extent of them becoming unable to control their temper or emotions; they in turn lose their self-control and then disrupt the normal functioning of their minds. Now tell me, can a disordered mind take up new opportunities and risks? Can a person with a disrupted mind about past experiences make clear plans to grow and progress?
It is high time you let go of your missteps and negative experiences and then move on so that you can live happily in your present. It is however pertinent to note that dwelling on past failures and events is normal and not abnormal, this therefore means it is not too bad to ruminate once in a while on your negative experiences; such is good when it plays a role of motivating you to do what is right and to remember you of the need to focus on the person you are becoming.
The most important thing is not getting caught up in your past experiences because that will definitely lead to depression. Instead of sitting to brood over the interview you missed, the examination you failed and the task you could not do, tell or ask yourself the way forward, ask yourself the next step to take instead of brooding. See, what has happened has happened. Therefore, there is a need to avoid brooding on your past failures; this is the major problem for most people. Let your failures motivate you and not soak you up. You need to learn to take charge of what has effect on your mental and psychological state because that surely goes a long way in influencing the person you are becoming.
My dear, to be successful and to have a pleasant future, you have to accept the fact that you are human and at such, very imperfect and full of flaws. The moment you understand this fact, embracing those flaws would be easier for you which would in turn pass you through life safely. As a human with flaws, it is however inevitable to make mistakes; this is what makes you real, this is what sums you up as a human being. There are some steps you will take that will not yield positive fruits, you should not because of this give up on life, there are still several opportunities dear. So wherever you are at this moment, I want you to know that you are not alone, there are over a thousand people going through the phase you are now. No you are not cursed! Yes you can still make so many changes! You need to get up, just endeavor to get up and move on. You need to keep going; don’t let your ugly past experiences overshadow you. Do not be outweighed by the problems you have faced. Instead, let them motivate you to be a better version of yourself, let them keep you on your toes. Yes! Get up; you can still make a change in the world!